phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
