When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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