it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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