Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
