the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
