meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
