i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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