chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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