Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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