Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
