Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
