So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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