So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
