doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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