the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
