Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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