The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
you made out with another girl for some wings
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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