While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
