Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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