READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
