I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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