this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
