on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
