3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
