We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
