So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
