i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
