so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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