Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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