found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
