he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
