I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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