i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
