im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
