May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
