WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
