Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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