It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
