Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
