it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
