We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
