fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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