Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
