so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
