Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
