You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
