my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
