Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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