just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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