these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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